He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
