shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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