i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
