let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I stole a fireplace last night.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You need Xanax blowdarts
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
