Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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