put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
