So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
