Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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