Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
They should really pass out barf bags in church
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
