If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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