Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
