I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize