If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
