lets start a swedish sibling band together
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
