there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
