I think I won the penis lottery.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
