Porn is love you can see.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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