eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
it was like eating out sand paper
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
