is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
