so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
