Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
It's just like the Real World with babies
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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