I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
