Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
