one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
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