Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
