I didn't shave. On purpose
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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