im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
