I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
