She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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