we have officially lost it.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
