All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
