good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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