There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
