I am in a vortex of obligation.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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