I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize