But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
