I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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