Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
