Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
