Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
