Come see our sink grown plant.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
