You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
