yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
