I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
