he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
