I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize