dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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