It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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