and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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