Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
