we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just had sex on a roof
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
