she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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