i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize