Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
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