I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
