I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
