i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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