ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
