I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Randomize
