did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
