I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
