i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
