So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
