Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Everclear isn't food dammit
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
