Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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