I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
