Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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