I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
