So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
