i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
