This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
