the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
