i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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