Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
