I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
home. puking in laundry basket.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
