So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
